If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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