if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
