mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
