Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
third nipple confirmed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
