I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize