ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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