Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
did i walk over a car last night?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
