the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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