It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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