I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
