yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
