It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have aggressive nipples.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
