I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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