No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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