i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
