Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
