I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
