The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
