dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize