maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
