i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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