Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
