You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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