I will die if light touches me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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