just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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