I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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