i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He felt like a one man threesome
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
