I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
