Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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