shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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