so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish you could order shots online.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
