At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
