So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
