he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize