I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
