A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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