why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
