garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
