put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
