she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
All I want is dick and wine.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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