The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
