she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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