Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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