u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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