There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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