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• (760): View more from California

  Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?

  (760): View more from California

  I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I love sluts.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I end my prayers with that every single night.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (409): View more from Texas

  There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think you may want to look into that...

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.

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• 

  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.

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