Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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