btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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