Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
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She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just had sex on a roof
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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