it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think people are normalizing furries
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
