Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
