I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize