at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
