I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
