we're blogging at a bar
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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