Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
