i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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