i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
