i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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