gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just google imaged poop.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
being pregnant is like rehab
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
