why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
