It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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