I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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