if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
