Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize