What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
