i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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