Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize