it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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